BEYOND FEST HALFWAY POINT OF NO RETURN

We are a little over halfway through the entirety of Beyond Fest 2022. We’ve had some awesome screenings. Mind-melting, one-of-a-kind screenings that have surely kicked all of our asses. Every day, I bemoan the world’s lack of cloning technology, because I wish I could make copies of myself to be able to get to all of the awesome screenings and I rend my garments every time I have to miss a sweet screening because I cannot split myself in multiple Doloresi and continue to write reviews.

I wish

Here are the highlights for the rest of Beyond Fest:

If you have a ticket to Weird: The Al Yankovic Story, Beyond Fest is running a costume contest, all you have to do is just “dress as your favorite @alyankovic to get first access into the theater (6:30 PM) and join our costume contest to win awesome swag.”

Also, tonight and free, FEED ME in Los Feliz, tickets here. It’s about a cannibal! Everyone likes a good cannibal movie. “Following the death of his wife, a broken man spirals into an abyss of night tremors and depression and finds himself in the home of a deranged cannibal who convinces him to take his own life in the most horrific way imaginable.”

The film ASHKAL, which had to be canceled mid-screening due to a DCP issue, has been rescheduled for Friday, October 7 at 4:00 p.m. Tickets here on Friday at 9:00 a.m.

On Friday, did you miss getting a ticket to SICK? No worries, you can get tickets to THE OFFERING at 9:00 a.m. at the Shudder/Los Feliz Three at 7:00 p.m. It sounds spooky and it is October.

“Oliver Park delivers a unique take on the supernatural in a story of possession and demons in ‘THE OFFERING’ based on Jewish folklore. Inside a funeral home in Brooklyn, Saul welcomes home his long-absent son and the pregnant bride — the atmosphere is of reunion and celebration. However, Art has an ulterior motive, wanting to facilitate the sale of the funeral home in order to cover his myriad of bad business debts. However, the arrival of a mysterious corpse with a sinister secret will bring forth a conflict far worse than family and the life of the unborn baby will be the ultimate prize at stake. Featuring incredible performances from a game cast, THE OFFERING does not skimp on the atmosphere or the shocks — a brilliant shocker guaranteed to send you screaming into the night!”

Next, FULCI LIVES!!! You have a chance to watch Lucio Fulci’s THE BEYOND: THE COMPOSER’S CUT at 10:00 p.m. and it’s one of my favorite Fulci jams. Tickets here. Lots of signature eyeball violence, Fulci zombies, weird children, fog, acid murder, weird women living down the road, repeated shots of bouncing dog balls for absolutely no reason, and GORE!!! THE BEYOND has an uncanny vibe that only Fulci could create. It’s the maestro at his most weird. You guys, I really hate when the real estate agent doesn’t tell me the house is one of the seven doors to Hell.

New score by Fabio Frizzi! In director Lucio Fulci’s Gothic masterpiece, Lisa (Catriona MacColl) inherits a decrepit New Orleans hotel and hopes to renovate it. What her real estate agent failed to tell her is that one of the seven doors to Hell is in the cellar; after several gruesome accidents, the passageway opens, unleashing a horde of zombies. Both gory and surreal, Fulci’s tribute to Antonin Artaud’s Theatre of Cruelty is not so much a film as a stunning series of brutal images — faces eaten by spiders, seeing-eye dogs gone mad, men losing eyeballs and, of course, blood-soaked bodies. With one of Fabio Frizzi’s most menacing scores.”

If you are not into spiders eating people, you could try this new film, STÉPHANE also a 10:00 p.m. Tickets here and live at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow. I honestly don’t know anything more about this film, but I know that Beyond Fest’s programmers have great taste, and if they put a film in the lineup, there’s a reason. I am intrigued.

“Tim, an aspiring short filmmaker, is trying to finish his latest magnum opus but things keep going wrong: his actors are not committed enough, his budget is nonexistent and his locations keep canceling on him. And that’s when he meets Stephané- a gruff, strange man who gives Tim the explosion effects he needed to finish the day’s shoot. Soon a grateful Tim offers Stephané a ride home, not knowing that he’s about to start off on the wildest night of his life. To enjoy Stephané, you need to take a risk. The risk is to know nothing. Suffice it to say if enjoyed Mark Duplass’ ‘Creep’ you are in very familiar territory but Stephané may make you gasp more than you ever thought possible. Outrageous, uncomfortable and ultimately bombastic, catch what’s your future cult favorite NOW!”

Inexplicably, Saturday’s one-two-three cinematic death punch isn’t sold out yet and I am here to stare you in the face until you buy some tickets. My associate will assist me in the staring.

First is Jason Eisener’s rambunctious KIDS VS ALIENS at noon, tickets here.

I’ve seen this movie twice so far and it’s a flawless kids vs monster movie like they used to make them in the 80s and 90s. Expletive-spouting kids resist an alien invasion of goopy monsters and try to have a great Halloween, both of them difficult feats. Anyone who complains that movies aren’t fun or that they are too long should buy a ticket now.

“It’s been a minute since Jason Eisener exploded onto the genre scene with his brilliant tribute to exploitation cinema of yesteryear with ‘HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN’ and in the meantime re-invented the wrestling documentary with his groundbreaking DARK SIDE OF THE RING — but here is again, to remind everyone there’s no-one quite like him when it comes to mixing the ridiculous with the sublime with a good dose of ultra-violence thrown in. The story follows Gary alongside his sister Samantha and their group of young friends as they find themselves in a showdown with not only with the school bullies but also an alien invasion. What follows is an action epic packed end to end with brilliant set pieces and the most foul-mouthed group of children you’re ever likely to encounter. Buy a ticket and get on the ride for an extraordinary experience of madness and wonder.”

One of the movies that will definitely be on my 2022 best film list is next around 2:00 p.m. Travis Stevens’ A WOUNDED FAWN. A surreal art film/theatre-based freakout that you have got to see to believe with one of the funniest serial killers and three of the scariest female goddesses in film. This will be the third time at the third festival that I have seen this film. Here’s my review for good measure. Not to be missed and you will hate yourself if you do miss it, especially later when you realize you had the chance to see it on the big screen. It kills. Los Angeles? Sell this film’s screening and this block out. Do not disappoint me, cinemaniacs.

“Travis Stevens continues his exploration of the human psyche in his third film with a wickedly clever take on the serial killer trope that upends all the expectations of the genre. Meet Bruce Ernst — a charming, erudite and sophisticated man who also happens to be a notorious serial killer haunted by his very own psyche. When he brings the equally charming Meredith Tanning to his cabin for a night of romance and murder, neither of them can predict how the night will eventually turn out — one thing’s for sure though — there will be blood. With dreamy 16mm visuals and a color palette, Giallo-heads will die for, Travis draws incredible performances from his two leads Josh Ruben and Sarah Lind and creates a unique film that immediately cements its position as a classic within the genre.”

Around four, you have the West Coast premiere of V/H/S/99 and you can’t miss this one either. Tickets here. All new filmmakers and a fresh, banana pants aesthetic. The creators of the V/H/S series have decided to go in a new direction with the same gusto that they brought to V/H/S/94. With stand-out segments from Maggie Levin (Shredded), Johannes Roberts (Suicide Bid), and Vanessa and Joseph Winter’s riotous wallop of a segment “To Hell And Back”. Do not miss this on a big screen, watching it on your TV WILL NOT be the same. TIFF review here.

“It was only last year Beyond Fest was elated to launch VHS 94 which delivered a maelstrom of madness that shook the roof of the cinema. And here we are again as those brilliant madmen behind the camera have done what many thought impossible and have topped their last outing with another quartet of stories so brilliant, so bizarre and so shocking that only the most resilient will survive: bringing together the talented of Flying Lotus, Joseph & Vanessa Winter, Johannes Roberts, Maggie Levin AND Tyler MacIntyre, this is one anthology you will not want to miss under any circumstances.”

On Sunday, (SUNDAY SUNDAY), you get the chance to watch a William Shatner triple feature with some of the wackiest horror films of the 70s, KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS, THE DEVIL’S RAIN, and IMPULSE. Do you want to watch a bunch of real tarantulas menace William Shatner under the direction of Bud Cardos? Yes! Do you want to see Ernest Borgnine as a Satanic cult leader directed by the director of THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES? HELL YES!!! I mean, come on, they had Anton LaVey as a consultant on this one for Satanic realism. I don’t know as much about IMPULSE but here’s the synopsis. “Playing like a twisted cousin of ‘Shadow of a Doubt’ this 1974 cult classic sees an impeccable William Shatner as conman and gigolo Matt Stone whose leisure suits hide something more sinister and smarmy than just his personality — setting his eye on his latest target, he finds himself the target of the suspicion of the widow’s teenage daughter Tina. From start to finish an absolutely delight, IMPULSE is FINALLY back on the big screen in a restoration it truly deserved.”

WILLIAM SHATNER AS A HOMICIDAL GIGOLO ALERT!!!

All this plus, you get a special Q&A with William Shatner who just recently on Morning Joe with some notable quotes.

https://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/embedded-video/mmvo150056005533

After the Shatner triple, you can make it to Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead’s sure-to-be trippy SOMETHING IN THE DIRT. Tickets here.

I also don’t know as much about this one, since I’ve missed it at the festivals so far, but Benson and Moorhead trying to survive the pandemic while trying to become famous chasing the supernatural really sounds like something I would enjoy.

“Only the brilliant minds of Justin Benson and Aaron Moorehead could channel the tedium of the pandemic and the lockdowns into a sci-fi paranoia thriller of epic proportions. A puzzle-box designed to entice and befuddle in equal proportions, the film sees neighbors John and Levi (exceptionally played by the directors themselves) reluctantly partner up to investigate the supernatural events plaguing their apartment building in order to gain some fame and fortune in their lives. What follows is a rabbit-hole that leads them to discover the dangers of each other and the universe at large in a film that encapsulates perfectly a sense of Los Angeles that is both alluring, unknown and dangerous to know.”

Beyond Fest isn’t done blowing LA’s mind quite yet. GET READY FOR ROUND TWO LOS ANGELES.

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